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April 4, 2012
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We were both born, we met
each other and it was
pleasant; more than pleasant.
We fell in love, got married, stayed together,
started a family and it was
lovely; more than lovely.
We went back to school,
moved around, got old,
retired, and eventually died
in our sleep.

But for such a deadpan remembrance
of our lives, there was
so much
love love love,
there was
so much, and I...


And I always
wake up, and you are not there.
:iconfallingasleeptonight:
Something I just came up with quickly today. A little rough, in my opinion, I plan on pumping out one of those narrative poems everyone likes pretty soon too
Just realized that this works great for heart-of-poetry's "dream" prompt as well :)

Added the middle stanza, hopefully that smooths everything a bit more
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love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconredbuick95:
Mood: Love ~Redbuick95 Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
nice!!!
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:icondreamshiny:
~DreamShiny Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Dreams are really nice,according to me^^ but when you wake up, sometimes that can make you sad, no? :/
That can be really bad :O But what's life without dream? A train without wish...This is the way see.
How do you see this? :)
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:iconfallingasleeptonight:
*FallingAsleepTonight Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I try to keep my personal views on my own writing out of the picture. It's just a little story that different people get different feelings from. I think it's about putting things into perspective, but that's all I'll say :)
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:icondreamshiny:
~DreamShiny Aug 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ahah okay ^^ :P
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:iconjobe3do:
*Jobe3DO May 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
It does seem a pit rough but I think it adds to it, makes it unique and even more than just a poem._o
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:iconfallingasleeptonight:
*FallingAsleepTonight May 11, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks!
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:iconjobe3do:
*Jobe3DO May 11, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Ur welcome, and I found time, more like made time.)
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:iconsparky360:
This is beautiful. I can really feel the love and emotion from this. Fantastic. :heart:
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:iconcleothecat:
~cleothecat May 1, 2012  Student General Artist
The middle stanza hints at an internal struggle and really adds to the piece; I got chills reading this.
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:iconfallingasleeptonight:
*FallingAsleepTonight May 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wonderful, thank you. I spent a good deal of time going back and revising this
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